Right around the time my beloved Buffalo Bills fumbled away another shoulda-been victory, it was clear, this season is lost. It’s reached a point where even if we won it would be counter-productive because it would only hurt us in draft positioning come April where we can actually improve our team. Four of our top six defensive players (my own estimates) are injured, and our supposedly unstoppable no huddle offense has had no life. The only media attention we get refers to a countdown of when Terrell Owens will light the stadium on fire.

Which is why it is now time for my, sadly it seems annual, choosing of the “girlfriend” team to cheer for to finish out the season. I need a team to relate to, a team I can cheer for and still get something back in return. Let’s run down the candidates and what I’m looking for in a team.

No Frontrunners. It’s easy to jump on a bandwagon after it’s filled with riches, good food, and hot girls… and hay. Forget the metaphor. I’m a guy who roots for underdogs, I’m not going to jump on a squad when the team is already surging and high five the guys who have been with the team from the beginning. They deserve the extra space and recognition for sticking with the squad before the good times got rolling. That takes out all the undefeateds (Vikings, Giants, Broncos, Saints, Colts)

No Hope. The Bills have been awfully disappointing this year, but thankfully they still arn’t the worst team in the league. Why would I start caring about another team that would only break my heart more every Sunday? Yeah, doesn’t make sense. Get the winless or near-winless squads out (Titans, Chiefs, Bucs, Rams, Raiders, Browns, Lions, Panthers)

The Hate Runs Too Deep. Some teams I’ve just been so ingrained into despising that I’m emotionally incapable of feeling joy when a person wearing their logo or color combination does something positively. I can’t help it. If I won the lottery and the check had a Dolphins logo on it, I’d… well… I’d still take the money but I’d frown a little bit. In addition, the local frenzy for the Steelers is way too much for me to handle. I do not want to be just another black and gold face in the crowd. Also gone are the Cowboys because of two Super Bowls and Patriots because of this entire millennium thus far.

Snoozefest. If i’m going out of my way to announce loyalty for a team the remainder of this season, I want to make it worth my while. Boring games or ugly play isn’t something I’m going to enjoy watching. That’s why teams that are high in penalties (Ravens, Cardinals) or low yards per game offense (49ers, Jets, Redskins) won’t be making my list.

Still Loyal. Despite this process of choosing a temporary “new” team, I will always stay true to my Bills. That’s why I would want to avoid any conflict of interest by eliminating any potential opponents we would face. While you probably will crush us when we play, I will still be hoping for a miracle win against the Texans, Falcons, and Jaguars.

Fans Know Losing Before They Know Winning. Who will I be sitting next to on this metaphorical bandwagon we keep referring to? I’d prefer to have a team that’s faced some down times in their history, so we could properly relate on our struggles. A team that’s had recent success, specifically the playoffs in the last three years, has not known the pain I feel. I don’t want to hear the Eagles, Chargers, Seahawks or Bears complaining. They’ve had their chances. Call me when a 10 year old watching your last playoff game, is now graduating high school without seeing another one.

The Finalists… This brings us down to two teams that meet our credentials. The Cincinnati Bengals and the Green Bay Packers. Neither team was extremely hyped up this season, the Packers maybe slightly more, but both are performing well, the Bengals maybe slightly more.

Who wins the edge in star power? The Packers have Aaron Rodgers, who was the fantasy world’s most hyped up and coming QB this year and has so far done pretty well, but besides that who comes to mind? Ryan Grant is a strong running back but he isn’t getting recognized out of Wisconsin. Greg Jennings? Donald Driver? Poll half of America and they’ll tell you Sterling Sharpe is still starting.

The Bengals have the ORIGINAL USC Heartthrob Carson Palmer along with the best showman in the NFL, Chad Ochocinco. Their last three games were all decided by a field goal, all of them by less then a touchdown and all of them either won or lost in the last minute of the game. They’re a tipped fluke of a ball from being 5-0 and being eliminated instead of the Broncos in our first credential.

The Bengals are coming off a 4-11-1 season, and have gone 110-193-1 since 1990. They know how to lose and can definitely appreciate each drop of winning they get. With their close victories, it’s tough to tell if they’re “for real” in the media’s eyes yet but I’m there, I’m ready.

For the remainder of the 2009 season, LET’S GO BENGALS!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 at 1:23 am and is filed under sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.