Right around the time my beloved Buffalo Bills fumbled away another shoulda-been victory, it was clear, this season is lost. It’s reached a point where even if we won it would be counter-productive because it would only hurt us in draft positioning come April where we can actually improve our team. Four of our top six defensive players (my own estimates) are injured, and our supposedly unstoppable no huddle offense has had no life. The only media attention we get refers to a countdown of when Terrell Owens will light the stadium on fire.

Which is why it is now time for my, sadly it seems annual, choosing of the “girlfriend” team to cheer for to finish out the season. I need a team to relate to, a team I can cheer for and still get something back in return. Let’s run down the candidates and what I’m looking for in a team.

No Frontrunners. It’s easy to jump on a bandwagon after it’s filled with riches, good food, and hot girls… and hay. Forget the metaphor. I’m a guy who roots for underdogs, I’m not going to jump on a squad when the team is already surging and high five the guys who have been with the team from the beginning. They deserve the extra space and recognition for sticking with the squad before the good times got rolling. That takes out all the undefeateds (Vikings, Giants, Broncos, Saints, Colts)

No Hope. The Bills have been awfully disappointing this year, but thankfully they still arn’t the worst team in the league. Why would I start caring about another team that would only break my heart more every Sunday? Yeah, doesn’t make sense. Get the winless or near-winless squads out (Titans, Chiefs, Bucs, Rams, Raiders, Browns, Lions, Panthers)

The Hate Runs Too Deep. Some teams I’ve just been so ingrained into despising that I’m emotionally incapable of feeling joy when a person wearing their logo or color combination does something positively. I can’t help it. If I won the lottery and the check had a Dolphins logo on it, I’d… well… I’d still take the money but I’d frown a little bit. In addition, the local frenzy for the Steelers is way too much for me to handle. I do not want to be just another black and gold face in the crowd. Also gone are the Cowboys because of two Super Bowls and Patriots because of this entire millennium thus far.

Snoozefest. If i’m going out of my way to announce loyalty for a team the remainder of this season, I want to make it worth my while. Boring games or ugly play isn’t something I’m going to enjoy watching. That’s why teams that are high in penalties (Ravens, Cardinals) or low yards per game offense (49ers, Jets, Redskins) won’t be making my list.

Still Loyal. Despite this process of choosing a temporary “new” team, I will always stay true to my Bills. That’s why I would want to avoid any conflict of interest by eliminating any potential opponents we would face. While you probably will crush us when we play, I will still be hoping for a miracle win against the Texans, Falcons, and Jaguars.

Fans Know Losing Before They Know Winning. Who will I be sitting next to on this metaphorical bandwagon we keep referring to? I’d prefer to have a team that’s faced some down times in their history, so we could properly relate on our struggles. A team that’s had recent success, specifically the playoffs in the last three years, has not known the pain I feel. I don’t want to hear the Eagles, Chargers, Seahawks or Bears complaining. They’ve had their chances. Call me when a 10 year old watching your last playoff game, is now graduating high school without seeing another one.

The Finalists… This brings us down to two teams that meet our credentials. The Cincinnati Bengals and the Green Bay Packers. Neither team was extremely hyped up this season, the Packers maybe slightly more, but both are performing well, the Bengals maybe slightly more.

Who wins the edge in star power? The Packers have Aaron Rodgers, who was the fantasy world’s most hyped up and coming QB this year and has so far done pretty well, but besides that who comes to mind? Ryan Grant is a strong running back but he isn’t getting recognized out of Wisconsin. Greg Jennings? Donald Driver? Poll half of America and they’ll tell you Sterling Sharpe is still starting.

The Bengals have the ORIGINAL USC Heartthrob Carson Palmer along with the best showman in the NFL, Chad Ochocinco. Their last three games were all decided by a field goal, all of them by less then a touchdown and all of them either won or lost in the last minute of the game. They’re a tipped fluke of a ball from being 5-0 and being eliminated instead of the Broncos in our first credential.

The Bengals are coming off a 4-11-1 season, and have gone 110-193-1 since 1990. They know how to lose and can definitely appreciate each drop of winning they get. With their close victories, it’s tough to tell if they’re “for real” in the media’s eyes yet but I’m there, I’m ready.

For the remainder of the 2009 season, LET’S GO BENGALS!

Anybody who has worked in a service industry has a story. Probably several. People who through the veil of anonymity they throw civil manners and courtesy out the window. Clearly we are all just varying levels of dependents in this situation: the consumer dependent upon the service and all the variables that come with it (quality, cost, reliability, etc.) and the employee dependent upon improving those variables in exchange for financial compensation to afford their own services for themselves and their families.

If people would look more in that perspective, a discourse of “This is the problem. What can you do?” could be done more efficiently and effectively. In my experience, there have been several times where the solution is often easy and quick but the conclusion is dragged out because of the consumer’s insistence to “tell their tale.”

Perhaps we should expand the term “customer service” to more then just that specific industry’s promised product. We also provide the no consequence venting venue for their lives. Is that customer truly shouting at the top of their lungs because of an extra two dollars on their most recent bill? Some, sure, but my guess is the majority have deeper issues in their lives and want to let it out. They want to do the socially unacceptable thing of shouting, swearing, getting angry and letting their emotions take over. If they allow this to boil over in their workplace, family, or friends then there would be a lingering effect which wouldn’t improve their situation and most likely negatively impact someone else.

The stranger on the other end of the line, the spokesman for this latest inconvenience in their lives, allows the perfect outlet. They will never meet, they will never share an awkward silence and with the simple press of a button the entire encounter is over. The power the consumer has in this situation is intoxicating then the rest of their day spirals out of control, it’d be against human nature to not take advantage of such a beneficial release with little or no risk.

From the employee standpoint, perhaps it is time that we don’t look at this angry customers in disdain but instead be glad we allowed them to let a little rage, little anger, little frustration out of their systems. If this allows them to be calm in another situation with a friend or family member, isn’t it better that we take it in the chin? We are patient, we are strong, and we are improving the lives of others even if in the most minuscule way.

Sometimes the smallest pebbles can make the largest ripples.